...when we're poisoning gophers in the lawn!
Hmph.
Shortly after I moved in, the back yard developed a gopher problem; the recent demise of the local dinosaur population* allowed the little furry varmints to thrive beneath the grass of the neighborhood park without worrying about the footsteps of frolicking sauropods, and thence to tunnel beneath my back fence.
I planted something called "gopher purge" back there. I still haven't eradicated the last of the gopher purge. But... I haven't had any gopher activity since way-back-when.
Well, a few days ago some distinctive little mounds appeared. This time, in the front yard. On investigation, I find some mounds in the side yard, too, but nothing between there and the back fence.
Maybe (unlike penguins) they come from next door? But the neighbors have a well-kept yard.
Anyway, it's time to do my best Dalek impression. Do I really want to plant gopher purge again? And in the front yard?
Er. Wait.
The gopher purge didn't work last time, did it? 'Cause I seem to recall having subsequently bought a little bottle of gopher bait pellets with zinc phosphide. Which, sometime in the last ice age, seems to have gotten either misplaced or disposed of.
Ergo, off to the hardware store in search of more anti-gopher pellets. (Either that, or the reptile store for an anti-gopher serpent. But the local reptile store went out of business several years ago. And hiring a local kid with an air rifle doesn't seem to be socially acceptable around these parts.)
And then some digging, and some pellet-placing. And hope that the gophers die underground, and don't end up poisoning local scavengers.
* OK, so maybe it wasn't quite that long ago.
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