Grand unified explanations are almost invariably wrong...

...but...

In trying to make sense of Big Business and Big Government, don't things just fall into place if you assume that most top executives and elected officials are addicted to crack?

I mean, seriously.  Who can keep up that gogogoGO! lifestyle without powerful stimulants?  And it would explain their often psychotic behavior, and why various government agencies seem to be in league with the drug cartels.  And it would mean that all those people could be blackmailed, by their suppliers, by each other, and by members of the permanent government.

And surely rich crack addicts can cover up their problems more successfully than poor ones.