OK, so I don't have the facts entirely straight yet, and most of the important aspects can't be proven, as they relate to threats made over the telephone, so I won't name the bank here, lest I summon an unspeakable evil. I'll call it by a nicer name: Hell's Balrog. The bank in question has a reputation for over-the-top sleazy conduct; I now believe this reputation to be, if anything, understated.
The president and majority shareholder of a small corporation was on his deathbed, unable to communicate in any useful way. He, personally, owed a substantial amount of money to Hell's Balrog. The corporation did not; Hell's Balrog had never been willing to lend anything to the corporation, and the corporate checking account had been moved to a different bank several months earlier, following a series of bank screwups.
Either Hell's Balrog's collection department or debt collectors acting on its behalf repeatedly phoned his soon-to-be-widow, demanding payment. Eventually, they gave an ultimatum: hand over a large amount of money by tomorrow, or we'll take your husband's company. Faced with this, and not having been kept informed of the company's business dealings, she complied, emptying the corporate treasury to pay what turns out to have been a personal debt, in hope of keeping the company in existence a little longer.
How many problems do we see here?
And, should push come to shove, who'd go to prison? Some bank executives? Some debt collectors? Or their victim?
(The situation as it appears now is even worse than I've recounted here, but many facts are still obscured. Three helpful tips for success: (1) Don't borrow money. (2) Don't do business with a Balrog. (3) Don't die.)
Afterthought: Is it time to go Mencken yet?
Update: The tale gets ever weirder. Turns out the personal debt in question was a home mortgage, on which he had indeed fallen far behind, but which gave the bank no claim on any assets other than the home in question. And: the money in question was indeed borrowed, but it was a personal loan, from a friend, intended to be used to catch up on the mortgage, and didn't belong in the corporate account at all. And thus the bank's unscrupulous and outright illegal collection tactics got it money that had already been earmarked for paying the bank. Meanwhile, the widow (and now majority shareholder of the corporation) is frantically trying to get access to the corporation's bank records (at the bank where the business account now is), to find out whether there's still money in the account and whence it came.
(Fourth tip: if you have a business, and dependents, keep a Doomsday Envelope containing things like your e-mail password, business bank account details, and other information your next of kin will need to make sense of things in the event of your unscheduled demise. Keep it where your next of kin will have access in your absence. Make sure they know about it.)
Comments