OK, so... all my datacenter computers are things I assembled myself, and they're all running UN*X variants that I configured myself... and I learned FORTRAN, on my own, in high school... and, once upon a time, I knew how to use a slide rule... and I've never learned how to use a non-RPN calculator... and my first computer was one I built myself, from chips and wires... but....
Yes, I can name more than 80% of the elements. But I cheat and use a mnemonic, so they come out in Tom Lehrer order.
Yes, I own a microscope... and, come to think of it, a telescope of sorts. But it's not like I actually use them. Except... just this morning I was thinking it'd be fun to hang a digital camera on a microscope and start doing my own "whatziss" challenges, with little teeny obscure tech goodies.
Yes, I don't consider BASIC to be a real programming language. But I had to think about that one; PASCAL and COBOL were strong contenders, and I have my doubts about C++.
Oh, and I just noticed that I still have a paper-tape reader. And most of a roll of paper tape. But I don't have a punch. (I think I may have some treasures from my high-school days squirreled away on paper tape, somewhere around here.)
And I don't have a heck of a lot of figurines in my office. Let's see... there's Great Cthulhu, and Lesser Cthulhu, and Pikathulhu, and Tux, and a sparkly snake, and a sort of computer gargoyle.
Oh, and there's a globe in my office. Of the Moon.
Well, I'm not as nerdy as Orac, anyway. But Orac is a bald dwarf plastic box with blinky lights and buzzy noises, and you just can't get much nerdier than that!
(Note, however, that even without Orac's special ability to tap into any data source in the galaxy, I can still play out-of-region DVDs on my homebrew home-theater system.)
Orac buzzed and hummed and linked to yet another quiz: "What Disease Are You?" Looks like I'm a doozy!
What Disease Are You?
You Are Rabies!
Also known as Hydrophobia, you tend to be exciting and spontaneous. Energetic and daring, your friends value your ability to eat things after the five second rule has expired. While you are greatly appreciated for your ability to take chances, you have been known to "bite the hand that feeds you." You have a great sense of humor when you can manage to wipe the foam off of your mouth. Take this quiz!
Well, I'm feeling a bit rabid at the moment, and ready to bite rapidsvn, or should that be rabidsvn... Debian-stable comes with 0.7.0, which is old; when I try to build 0.9.1, I get a weird link error; 0.9.0 builds OK, but gives a shared-library-related error when I try to run it. Version 0.8.0 builds and runs, but it isn't the latest... actually, looking at the changelog, there doesn't seem to be any reason I need the latest, so I guess I can stop foaming and get back to work, now that I wasted all this time taking quizzes while waiting for the program to build, repeatedly.
That other Eric, over at Classical Values, followed the same link I did yesterday, got a much higher geek score than my mere 42; alarmed at this, he referred back to the Polygeek Quiz, which had shown him to be a non-geek just three years ago.
So, I just had to try that one, too:
You are 30% geek
You are a geek liaison, which means you go both ways. You can hang out with normal people or you can hang out with geeks which means you often have geeks as friends and/or have a job where you have to mediate between geeks and normal people. This is an important role and one of which you should be proud. In fact, you can make a good deal of money as a translator.
Normal: Tell our geek we need him to work this weekend.
You [to Geek]: We need more than that, Scotty. You'll have to stay until you can squeeze more outta them engines!
Geek [to You]: I'm givin' her all she's got, Captain, but we need more dilithium crystals!
You [to Normal]: He wants to know if he gets overtime.
Dr. Helen linked to this geek test over at NewSqueak.
On some items, I scored completely non-geeky (World of Warcraft? Wozzat?), and on others their scale didn't go high enough (number of working computers in one's home only went up to 4... heck, I've got 5 powered up and in use at the moment).
It got the answer right, though. My score is... is...
Actually, I'm a lot more Calvinesque than this indicates.
Almost All Hobbes
You are 10% Calvin and 90% Hobbes
You're a clever tiger with a dash of little boy. A bit pessimistic about human nature, you think most people would be better as meals than as friends, and maybe you're right. At least, I've known several guys who fit that description. But your cannabalistic streak notwithstanding, you're a sensitive, (mostly) patient, and supportive friend. You have a few wild ideas here and there, but over all, you're quite sensible. Finally, my guess is you're the kind of person who gets along well with others, but who really needs space to be alone, like me.
My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
I recognize none of 'em. My response is an unbroken series of blank looks.
I would have done a lot better if it had been things like these:
Her hair was dark, and all pinned up with gold.
Her lips were red, and her eyes were so bold.
You longed to have her, but the price would be your soul!
Wer nicht, wenn warm von Hand zu Hand
Der Punsch im Kreise geht,
Der Freude voller Lust empfand,
Der schleiche schnell hinweg.
For with steel, and steam, and gasoline, and turbine's whining scream
They have trapped me in a nightmare that is someone else's dream!
Ein Gesätz besteht aus zweenen Stollen,
Die gleiche Melodei haben sollen;
Der Stoll aus etlicher Vers Gebänd,
Der Vers hat seinen Reim am End.
5. (OK, an easy one)
The night you died, I cut it off;
I really don't know why.
For now each time I kiss it,
I get bloodstains on my tie.
Pur ti miro,
Pur ti godo,
Pur ti stringo,
They added choice ingredients to brew a little brew,
But they didn't know the wires were crossed in Chamber Number Two.
(Yes, I realize this is an odd assortment. So?)
Update: OK, so every once in a while somebody gets here via Google, and since this appears to be the only result for #3, maybe it's time to post the answers. Those of you who wish to play it the hard way, stand upside-down with your head in a bucket of piranha fish.
#1: Cynthia McQuillin, "Black Davy's Ride"
#2: Ludwig van Beethoven, "Punschlied"
#3: Jordin Kare, "The Wanderer"
#4: Richard Wagner, Die Meistersinger von Nürnberg