Silicon Valley Redneck

Vile earworm. Inspiration!

A few weeks ago, I inexplicably had the Soviet national anthem stuck in my head for several days.

Yesterday, I clicked on a historical clip on YouTube, and guess what tune crawled in my ear and doesn't want to leave?

Right.  The Horst Wessel Lied.

Do.  Not.  Hum.  In.  Public.

...Wait.  How many people would even recognize it, anyway?  Well, apart from the sort I like to hang out with, and some of those I cross paths with on morning walkies (German schoolteachers, elderly veterans).

So: evil thought.  Pick some, not to get specific or anything, aimless generic mass movement made up of the angry and ignorant, and write for it a nice anthem.  Recycling an old tune that kind of sticks in the head and won't leave without a fight.  And see if anyone notices where the tune came from.

Fannies high, Brownshirts!

Scented candles, for mens?

For reals?

Well... sounds like 'twas dreamed up by some sort of metrosexual.  Look at the scents on offer.  Then look at what's not there: Hoppe's № 9.  WD-40.  Creosote.  Duct tape.  Cordite.  Night crawlers.  Axle grease.  Ozone.  Venison.  Cosmoline.  Carbonized beef tallow.  Labrador retriever.  Turpentine.

But, then, I can't see actual men having the slightest interest in "manly" scented candles.  The market must be city drones who dream of being suburban drones, As Seen On TV.

A note on footwear

I've been mostly wearing Vibram^® Five^TM Fingers^es for a couple of years now, and find the KSO Trek variety quite suitable for moderate hiking.

They are not, however, appropriate for reenacting the Swedish role in the Battle of Copenhagen.

You get lots of vegetation wedged between the toes.

The Phantom Head Shaver strikes again!

Only instead of Brighton, he's currently operating in Feldbach, Austria.

Apparently he's been there for over 20 years now.

IIRC, the original Phantom Head Shaver turned out to be the narrator, Wallace Greenslade, who died a bit over 51 years ago, so it's probably not him - unless he was inadvertently summoned back by gypsies or something.

Oh, noes! There's just no escaping these people!

Perusing the holiday candy display at the drugstore today, I noticed an anomalous item among the chocolate rabbits, chocolate eggs, and chocolate Mickey Mice.

Chocolate crucifixes.

Jeez, some people just gotta drag their religion into everything!

What an unfortunate hyphenation.

Spotted in this article:

Pentagon spokeswoman Cmdr. Leslie Hull-Ryde

Is a Hull-Ryde anything like a Keel-Haul?

Just askin'.

Silly bird

Apparently Tinga is confused about Daylight Saving Time.

She always starts demanding attention at 0600, give or take a few minutes.

Well, this week it's 0500.  Took her about a week to adjust after DST officially started, but then when the old-style DST start date came around, she sprang right ahead by another hour.

Obviously needs a firmware update, but I think the breeder is long since out of business.  Maybe I can download it somewhere, put it on a USB stick, and let her chew on it?

Wait, did Mythbusters just try this?

Knight-Mare Hare, 1955.

Brain malfunction

It suddenly came to me this morning that I should engrave this image

upon my outdoor cooking apparatus.

And then it would be...

Duh.  The Grill with the Dagon Tattoo!

Was ist LOS, anyway?

What with Joy working on Android apps, and the only Android device in the household being my cellphone, and me needing the cellphone to make calls on (not to mention keeping my calendar and grocery list on it), it seemed like time to run down to Fry's and see what the Bargain-Basement Droid Device of the Week was.

Well, the bargain of the week was a Coby product that didn't actually seem to work properly, or maybe we just couldn't figure out how to get to the menu.  In among the low end, though, there was a funky unit with an 8" screen and squarish form factor, demo unit only, with the screen inexplicably covered with what seemed to be sticky-tape stickum (removable with a bit of elbow grease).  Marked down from $160 to $80, and it seemed to work and to have all the necessary functions, so what the hey.

Anyway, it's made by a company that's apparently called AOC, except that they spell it ЛОС, which I naturally mispronounce as "loss", in much the same way that when I see a car branded ΚΙΛ I pronounce it "kill."  (Hey, my first car was a killer.  Said so right on it, in Spanish.)