OK, so now we've learned that Al Gore's mansion gobbles more energy in a month than a normal American household does in a year. That, and his constant jetting around the world, make him one of the world's greatest energy hogs, even as he tells us peasants that driving to work is a sin.
And yet... we're told that he's carefully minimized his energy use, and that, beyond that, he's purchased
indulgences carbon offsets so that, really, he's not consuming any resources at all! His sainthood remains unchallengeable!
Thus my inspiration: I'm still trying to lose another 10-15 pounds in time for swimsuit season. I think I'll adopt Gore's strategy: pig out all I want, and purchase calorie offsets, i.e., pay other people to go on a diet for me!
Maybe I can send some money to some organization that's helping limit food consumption in the Third World. The Janjaweed militias, perhaps, or Robert Mugabe.
Update: I've just thought of a great way to reduce my electricity consumption by a factor of six! It's simple, really. Here's how it works:
First, I pair off with a family of five in Iraq. This gives six people in the electricity-consumption pool.
Second, I support a terrorist group that blows up generating stations and power transmission lines, thereby preventing those five people from consuming any electricity at all.
Presto! I keep using electricity at my usual rate, but, by preventing five other people from using any electricity, I've effectively cut my consumption. This is brilliant!
Now I need to work out schemes for war offsets, torture offsets, murder offsets, ... the possibilities are endless!
If I sent money to Habitat for Humanity, would that count as an arson offset?
Update 2: Eureka! Income offsets! Are you in too high a tax bracket? Simply pay me $250,000/year, and I'll pay a poor family in Venezuela $2500/year to have their income averaged with yours!
I wonder if the IRS will go for it.
More: Iowahawk has his own distinctive take on the whole matter.